once upon a time.

oh hey.

yeah, it's me.

i know, i know.  it has been awhile.  a long, long while.  i have posted here and there.  and of course the birthday baby pictures.  i have thought of posting a lot of things.  and then the idea of posting so many things became overwhelming.  and then my computer crashed and i didn't have one for over a year.  and then i just lost the desire.  and then one day i read some of the things i have written and i laughed.  and i remembered how much i loved to write.  and i kind of think i am funny sometimes. and then some time passed.  and then i forgot that i loved to write.  and then i remembered again.

and here we are.

there are a bazillion things i could write about.  things like music and friends and family and work and life.  and while i was thinking all of those things, i told myself to breathe and slow down.  i think that the idea of everything i could share is what overwhelms me to the point that i don't write at all.  so, for today i will just share the random thoughts i have had over the past few days.  two days that i spent sick and home from work and two days that were my days off, one of which was spent recovering...somewhat.

and, of course, it will be in bullet list form...because we all know how much i love bullet lists.
  • calling into work sick makes me super, freaking nervous.  i have a fear that they will tell me to suck it up and i will have to go to work anyway.  then i get self conscious about them thinking that i'm not really sick and that i have to make sure i make myself sound way more sick than i am so they don't tell me to suck it up and go to work.
  • and considering how rough calling into work for one day is, having to call into work a second day is cause for a xanax prescription.  just saying.
  • my greatest accomplishment yesterday was showering.  and when i thought about all the things that i should have or maybe could have done, i ended the thought with, "well, at least i showered." and i instantly felt accomplished.  i hate being sick and the aftermath.
  • my upstairs neighbors are ridiculous.  they are loud.  especially when they are doing things that neighbors don't want to hear.  and i hate it.  but it's not really something that you can knock on their door and talk to them about.  so, i listen to music, loudly, at random times...because they are random.  and ridiculous.
  • over the last four days, i have completely cleared out my dvr.  you don't want to know how much was on there because you will then know how much i watched.  just know, it was a lot. like, a lot a lot.  and i enjoyed it.  but especially the accomplishment of clearing it out.  but now i have nothing to watch.  stupid being sick.  and having nothing else to do.
  • i'm super excited to spend the thanksgiving holiday with my family.  and thankfully, i got being sick out of the way before thanksgiving.  two years ago, with the whole fam, i got super sick and it sucked.  i don't want that to happen again.  yuck.
i mean, i know there were way more thoughts, but those were the ones at the forefront of my mind.  it's all good.  i hope you are all well and that you have a very happy thanksgiving.  and hopefully, i will remember that i like to write and i will post again soon.  don't hold your breath, though.

what are your thanksgiving plans?
do you have any fun traditions?

that's all.


a little in love.

oh hey.
yeah, i'm still alive.

the truth of the matter is that i think about posting here all the time. i miss writing. i miss sharing. i miss being connected. because i don't write anymore, i don't really read any blogs anymore. i mostly blame that on the demise of google reader, but that is a discussion for another day.

and then there is the fact that i don't have a fully functioning computer at home. and i haven't had one since about january. and i haven't really bothered to do much about it. i mean, i am in the process of researching laptops but i am afraid i am going to make the wrong choice. i love that i am neurotic sometimes.


the real reason i am writing today is because i have to share something that i am a little obsessed with...and a little in love with.

a few months ago i discovered this little choir based out of toronto. it is the most random and eclectic group of individuals and i love everything about it. they meet in the back of a bar, or so it seems to be a bar, and they sing these songs and record them and post them on youtube. i am so in love with the idea and concept...so much so, that i would even consider moving to toronto just to participate. for real, does anyone want to visit toronto with me...on a tuesday or wednesday?

here are a couple (few) of my favorites:

let's be honest here...i could probably post every video as my favorite. you really should check out their youtube page.

do you ever get stuck in the youtube vortex?
anything new with you?

that's all.


weekly recap.

in one word or phrase: "just when i thought i was out...they pull me back in."

i'm dreaming of: warmer weather without the threat of snow. apparently it is going to snow tomorrow...but i thought it was supposed to snow yesterday...utah weather, gotta love it.

song on repeat: i am super loving some old stuff lately...mostly griffin house and this song.

gotta write it down: i need to start writing it all down. i used to be such a good journal keeper...and blogger. i need to do better. this is the first step to making that happen.

lesson learned: never trust that the attention seeking, mental health kid will not hurt themself, even though they pinky-promised not to...just figure you are making a trip to the emergency room regardless.

picture to frame: i stole this one from my sister...i didn't take any pictures this week...sad face...love lillie and all her facials...especially her selfie faces.

highlight of the week: i got to go on a "ride-a-long" with my friend's husband who is a police officer. it's not the most exciting thing, but i am super entertained by it.

weekend to-do list: i should have cleaned more than i did...also should have worked on organization projects i have planned...i got distracted by the olympics. i'll come up with another excuse to avoid it all next weekend, too. hahaha.

how was your week?
did you have big weekend plans?

that's all.


sometimes friends are the best.

i was super bummed when i received news that i didn't win tickets to see james taylor and the mormon tabernacle choir. i was even more bummed when i found out that not a single one of my out-of-state family members won tickets either. i love james taylor with all my heart and i couldn't imagine him coming to utah and me not seeing him. (except that it did happen once, but i went and saw him in portland instead...i mean, that counts.) i was planning on standing in the standby line but kept having visions of not being allowed inside. so sad.

so you will understand the sheer excitement i experienced when i received correspondence (mind you, in two forms...texts and instagram comments) from the bestest friend ever stating that she had tickets and was asking me if i wanted them. i mean, i can't even express in human words how excited i was...i could "eek" it to you, or screech it to you, but not words. i made her promise she wasn't playing a joke on me, i was so excited. she definitely made my day...my year, even. james taylor, people...james taylor. i just can't get enough.

anyhow, after i calmed down a bunch, her generosity got me to thinking. i am blessed to know someone as kind and generous as she is, besides the fact that she is talented in every way you could possibly think. i love that i know her and that she is someone that i get to call friend. i am truly grateful for her friendship. but the part that really got me to thinking is how i should be more generous in my own life.

i'm not going to lie...i feel like, as of late, that i haven't been very focused on others. i can even admit that i have been pretty selfish. i don't like that about me right now. but i don't know how i got to this place. i can see where i steered the wrong direction on occasions and where i should have and could have done some things differently, but there wasn't an outright decision to be this way. and now i realize that i am going to have to step outside of a comfort zone to change things. and i really dislike stepping outside of comfort zones...i mean, it's so uncomfortable...but it must be done.

and so i am challenging myself...be more generous. or be less selfish. how ever i need to frame it to help myself change. because i do need to change. and i'm glad that on top of being gifted james taylor tickets, my friend could also gift me with this realization about myself.

this picture is old...like, over 10 years old...and i love that it exists. that is my dear friend, the gift giver, on the left. my baby sister in the middle. and me on the right. i don't know where we were or why we were taking this photo, but believe, i love it. (and that is a scanned-from-a-print-never-been-edited photo for your viewing pleasure...keepin' it real.)

do you struggle with generosity?
are you grateful for delightful friends?

that's all.