all by myself.

a couple of weeks ago, i read a blog post that discussed living alone. there was a youtube video and a reference to an article in the ny times. i was amused by all of it because so much of it rang true to me.

i have been living by myself, officially, for almost two years. four years ago, i lived with a plethora of boys and i avoided them at every cost...they occupied the downstairs and i managed the upstairs. the only space we shared was the kitchen and that was limited. it was almost like living by myself. and three years ago, i lived with a family...again, they lived downstairs and i was upstairs. and we didn't really share the kitchen. i had my own fridge in the garage and used the counter in the garage. i feel like i technically lived by myself that year, as well. even more so than when i lived with the boys. but truly living by myself is a whole different ball game.

i guess i never realized that living alone is an interesting phenomenon to some people. i have been such an independent person my whole life that living alone just seemed like the natural progression of things. let me explain my independence...when i was in sixth grade i signed up for violin lessons and then told my parents about them. in high school i made decisions like joining deca and the track and field team without consulting my parents. i "forgot" to tell my parents about my seminary graduation, so i went to it by myself. (although, i like to debate this with my mom...i'm terrible and tell her that she just didn't love me and that's why she didn't go...i don't remember not telling her, but she swears i never told her.) the summer after i graduated high school, i moved to jackson hole to work. a couple of years after that, i moved to lake powell for the summer. and a couple of years after that i moved across the country by myself...where i learned to go to movies by myself and, on occasion, i would go to dinner by myself. i'm definitely used to doing things by myself.

taking all that into consideration, living by myself seems totally normal. and i guess on some level i didn't realize that people don't ever take the opportunity to live by themselves. some just go from home to roommates to marriage...which is totally practical and normal. but there is so much that is amazing about living alone. let me give you a rundown of the top three reason living along is amazing...in a bullet format, of course. (and don't you dare judge me.)
  • sometimes it just feels good to get home from work or from running errands and take your pants off. i would say that i live 80% of my alone life sans pants. there is no justification and/or reason that i started doing this. i can't even tell you when i started doing this. it definitely occurred before i lived alone-alone. but after i didn't live with a plethora of boys. and to be honest, i can't really tell you when it will stop. it may never end. just sayin'.
  • it is definitely nice to run my own show. i love that i get to go to bed when i want, i get to get up when i want and i get to decide everything in between. and if i feel like starting twelve projects and just leave them lying around with an indefinite timeline, i can. and i can make food that i like. and i can eat dinner at ten at night. and i don't have to wake up to take care of kids or anyone else. i am the master of my domain in every way possible...and no share-sees.
  • finally, the best thing about living alone are all the things i do that i cannot and/or will not share. i definitely have my alone life. it makes me giggle. but i absolutely have no desire to share the aspects of my alone life. just know this...it is hysterical. i mean, i am sure you can figure some of it out. but i will share this...i never close the bathroom door. ever. enough said.
have you ever lived by yourself?
what do you think of living alone?

that's all.


some happenings.

hey...it's been awhile. a lot has happened. may was busy. i took some pictures. now i will share.

the biggest thing that happened in may was that i turned thirty-five. leading up to the birthday, i was a little anxious and thinking about turning the big three-five was slightly overwhelming. but then the day came and my nieces and nephews incessantly sang "happy birthday to you, cha-cha-cha...". it was a nice way to take the sting out of thirty-five. and my darling older sister made me a donut cake.

old fashioned donuts have always been my fave. and the best i have ever had are from dunford bakers in west jordan. kristen picked up some donuts and made this darling "cake" out of them. the kids thought it was funny that i had a donut cake. but it was super easy serving it. so yay for donut cakes.

and even though they had been singing all day, they sang again and i blew out the candles. thank goodness there weren't thirty-five.

another may occurrence was memorial day. my parents, specifically my dad, has always made a point of placing flowers on our family graves at the logan cemetery. when the 'rents moved, that duty was passed down to me...the last, lonely logan resident. and i have embraced it. it's actually been really fun to be able to do that for my family. usually my sister, kristen, will come to logan and hangout with me and we do the duty and then we go to my grandma's house. this year, i was invited to spend some time with kristen and her family in south jordan. i decided to head to the cemetery on saturday.

it was a rainy day, but for some reason, rainy days and cemeteries seem totally appropriate together. this is my trunk full of flowers. i used to get the flowers on monday morning and the picking isn't great. going on saturday is the key...lots of pretty choices.

i always head to the cranney corner of the cemetery first. i like that it is super easy to find and easily accessible. my grandparents are there, along with great grandparents, and so on. also, i have a great aunt and uncle that i adored that are there in that corner.

for as many years as i have gone to the cemetery, i have never noticed the birth and death dates of my grandparents. i'm not sure why it struck me as interesting this year, but i am really intrigued by the dates this year. i know it is because i didn't know them and so they were dates that were somewhat arbitrary for me. random, i know.

after the cranney corner, i head over to my grandpa's place. i was super proud of myself this year because i knew exactly where he was at and i didn't have to search. i was sad i didn't have anything to clean off the bird poop. i'm sure my grandma took care of it on monday, but i would have liked to take care of it for her on saturday. and if you were wondering, i did know my grandpa's birth and death dates.

sunday, i drove down to my sister's house. i was loving the drive in the rain. i think that sardine canyon is beautiful. and i loved that there was snow on the mountain tops. gotta love utah's weather.

while i was at the sister's house, i hung out with the nieces. i wish i could have captured lucie's laugh in this picture. she was giggling so hard but trying to still smile for the picture. i love that girl to pieces. she is too cute.

and this is lillie's biggest smile. i love that it literally took over her whole face. she just wanted to smile so big for the picture. the best is when they laugh and laugh after they see the picture. pure entertainment.

i made holly smile for a picture. she just wanted to pull faces, but i told her she had to smile first. this is her "forced" smile.

and this is the face that the silly little girl insisted on pulling. she is a riot.

and before may, there was february, march and april. here are some highlights and/or moments that are a little bit older than last month.

and this is the squishy kate. i just love how she looks like a sumo baby. she is much more mobile now. but she is still squishy.

this is lucie. she seriously cracks me up. and i love this pose. that's all.

me and lillie. can't go wrong with a self portrait.

see what i mean...me and holly.

and in april, there was easter. and spring break. and for spring break...just before easter...i paid a visit to the sisters and families. it was a blast. we painted paper easter eggs. it was super fun.

and then we cut them out and decorated.

so...yeah...that is what has happened...

what have you been up to?
anything fun?
any fun plans coming up?

that's all.